Sunday, February 28, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 9:04 PM

Words

Words have such an impact
To change our lives
Faith still intact
To do something, to strive

Words alone changes nothing
It couples with feelings for something
To have the impact present
Cause one to lament

It hurts my heart
To see one misusing it
It tears people apart
With them not knowing what crime they commit


CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Saturday, February 27, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 12:35 AM

A smile

In the beginning
I used to be an emo child
When someone forced me to smile
I gave one very mild

Then I found out
The needs of a smile everyday
After much experience
I finally thought it was okay

But then sin entered
Intruded my innocent life
My smiles just became
Nothing but lies

Learning the importance of a smile
Made me change a lot
Maintaining a smile
Is probably easy for awhile

My smiles still look the same
though its meaning has changed
My smiles are no longer genuine
With feelings inside all rearranged

And here I stood
Smiling everyday
No one knew or understood
Why I acted that way

The excruciating pain
Drilled a hole in my heart
Still trying to attain
My heart's missing part

A decision was made for now;
I do not wish to affect others
So I'll put on the usual smile
Hiding in my heart - my matters.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Penned down emotions @ 12:32 AM

Break-through

I used to have someting
Holding me back
Now it's nothing
Nothing's squeezing my neck

I used to say it's wearisome
Trying to forget him in every possible way
Now I can live through life
Without him as of today.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Friday, February 26, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 12:03 AM

Heart tied to a knot

Beating faster and faster
My heart thumped louder and louder
Flipped my phone to see whose number it is
To my dismay, it isn't his

Going deeper in thought
I tried to find the roots
Before it's covered in dust and rot
Trying to uncover some clues

I saw the result
Or so I did
Afraid I'd pout
For something I plead

Wishing to severe all ties
With this one
Extinguish all lies
To forget it all

But something keeps holding me back
I can't find the traces to track
Where this problem was from
What future this would become?

My mind and heart is confused
Left or right, which to choose?
A mind like a tot
It feels like my heart is tied to a knot.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Thursday, February 25, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 8:15 PM

My mind's preoccupied

The past was beautiful
I msged him everyday
Each message made my day wonderful
Such were his words expressed in every way

He may not be what the expectations are
But to me, it was a definite pass
Even though I know he doesn't drive a car
At least I know he's not more of the "LUST"

He used to be sweet and kind
We both liked the same colours; purple and lime
Our differences set apart
Love was as sweet as eggtart

Now he's so different
I don't know him anymore
I don't know how to stand in front
Facing him with the usual smile I wore

I don't dare to meet him
Even though I initiated it
Though the date's approaching
I feel like hiding in a pit

I want to hide from these problems
But I cannot bring myself to
The little voice in me screams
'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??'

I know hiding just makes me a coward
But if you were in my shoes and think
If you could say a word
As fast as you could blink

Such were these problems
As impossible as it seems
There the devil tempts
Along with sin it brings

If only I could control myself better
These things wouldn't happen - ever
If only I could control my mind better
This would not last forever

He's got a grip on my mind
Images flashed on many times
How I wish I can forget him now
But my mind's preoccupied and out of town.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 7:17 PM

Brighter Day

Seeing things as it had all seemed
I feel very much like a fool
Knowing about the truth, I beamed
May this white light RULE!!

The day I'd longed for
Had finally came true
Never will I see those days nor
Will I ever want to

Thank God and praise Him
For He had done wonders
I lift up my hands up to Him
For being my problem-solver

This very day I want to thank for
My heart no longer feels sore
Thanks to people in my surrounding
I had this brighter day, I'd been longing (:

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Penned down emotions @ 6:07 PM

Trying to help

Just when I wanted to come
Just right after common test
You created a huge lump
Creating a huge mess

You misinterpretated me
From time to time again
Everything came to a stop suddenly
After realising I was also the one in pain

I do not know if your intentions were deliberate
Or whether you really did not know
Ask yourself that question
What you reap is what you sow

It's funny that I hear this
You were angry at my questions
Probably too many to list
Any solutions of suggestions?

I may be harsh on you
But I want you to learn
I want you to grow, zo
So all sins will be burnt

My intention is to help you
Not forsake you
For my love to you is phileo
Not fake love, I want you to know

I know you wouldn't do such things
For I know your friendship with her
But our current friendship situation brings
Much suspicion that spur

I want to meet you online
To clear this misunderstanding
All misinterpretations you received
Some currently progressing

I really want to clear it all
To befriend you again
I'm not asking for your PHONE call
But online so you would not feel much pain

I'm not saying I believe her
But your sudden denial made me think otherwise
For where we've come so far
I feel, now covered in lies.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Monday, February 22, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 7:48 PM

All that I can do; please wait

I can give you all of it
But I'm afraid you won't accept it
I'm willing to give it all
I'm just waiting for your call

Emotional poems that you pen
Weird messages sent to my brain
A hand still reached out to lend
Hoping to do what I can

It's hard to understand me
Doing so, I know you'll get angry
Don't waste your time on me
Just do well in your studies

If you wish to know me
More and deeper in depth
Don't do that now
Just save your breath

Wait till later
When you've fully understand the Bible
You'll gain different perspectives
To do things in life, to follow what the Bible leads

Soon after, you'll see me through the light
See through me and gain insight
Know wrong from right
Do the right things with all your might

I just want to focus and study
I beg of you don't ask me about it already
Just do me a favour and stay away awhile
I'm already stressed with my studies now

There I looked towards the light
I used to see it glowing very bright
Now it changed, as it seem
It has become very dim

I'm not running away
from this matter
I just need to find a better way
So that this ending would be better

Time is what I ask of you
Again I repeat, please understand
I'm not saying what you think I thought of you
You must comprehend

I said you must trust yourself
So as to not ask many questions
Questions that can train your mind
So you won't keep thinking in those options

Each time you tell me about it,
I feel being rushed by you
You may not feel it
Please understand, I do.

Be open-minded
Set your mind free
Don't be narrow-minded
Keeping knowledge a size of a bee

I'm serious this time,
for I'm writing this rhyme
I'm cold towards you now
For you do not know me well,
You get upset for not knowing me well
And for how I'm treating you

Now I say this all clear:
I want to focus properly
And focus on one
Slowly, but steadily
Though matters are a ton

God at first
Studies are second
Your problems before mine
Just wait till it's time

I know your heart is sore
In two pieces it tore
I'd swear if I could
For you, I want to do even more

I know your feelings now
But see mine too
I've taken my bow
But have you?

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 4:32 PM

At a loss

I look at the cross
With admiration and happy thoughts..

And I thought to myself
How cool it would be if Jesus came down the next minute, in human self..

I wished my days would shorten
Then I would treasure every moment
Every moment with my friends
Having fun together, holding hands

If only the world were to realize
What they're doing - they hypnotize
Innocent people like us
Making us do "bad" things after earning their trust

A reward for the work we've done
A reward given to all, one by one
Opportunties we try to grab
To save this world from mayhem

Going through my own experiences
I tied a knot to my expenses
My temper kept shut in me
As I practice self-control forcibly

A spendthrift would love to spend money
Spending non stop, extravagantly
Money is like the temper in me
No matter how hard I try,
It stays in my heart, I feel so weary

Tired and worn out
I looked up to God again
With all my might, I shout
"God, help me take away this pain!"

I used to look at the cross
with admiration and happy thoughts
But now when I look at the cross
I've nothing to say, I'm at a loss.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Thursday, February 11, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 8:43 PM

Shortts, subjects stress [1]

I'll make this short.

I love A&E math to the max
I really really do
After what happened, I can't accept the fact
that I probably am not very well at it.. boohoo ):

I love Geography too
Probably as much as mathematics
But today's common test paper was CRUEL
My brain went haywire and hectic

I love both of those subjects
I really really do
But I write every answer with much regrets
In common test 1, hope not again in common test 2!!

Upset and demoralized
With dinner set before me
Though my tummy grumbling, I realized,
My mind could not stop thinking about it, fearfully.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Monday, February 8, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 7:50 PM

As part of my ____.

As part of my ____.

As I tried to help again
I realise she ended up in pain
Nothing to gain, nothing to lose
My box is now empty, I've ran out of tools

I feel her pain
I stare from a distance
My efforts were in vain
I realise things could never be done in an instance

No shortcuts,
No "howevers" or "buts"
Can change the fact it happened
Occured to me, so.. sudden

Stopped trying to act big
I'm not Bob the builder who's one to fix
Summing it all up twig by twig
I feel the problems lie with me, the one full of tricks

Again I stare at her from a distance
Down the hill with slight gradience
As I stare helplessly behind her
Thoughts in my head made me quiver

Trying to ignore the past
Looking into the future
But my head's all rust
How can I make it occur?

What should I do?
Turning to God, is my only solution
To do something upright and true
Turning to God is the only solution.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Thursday, February 4, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 2:44 PM

Reality or NOT.

Reality or NOT .

We used to talk all day and night
Texting each other twenty-four seven
Until you pulled the rope too tight
And I let go because I was craven

We went to each others' house
Til we complained too many times
That minor problem handled in touse
Costed her cab ride more than a dime

We do not feel guilty
For certain things we do to each other
But if it's worth a pity
Of such things, we do pother

Challenges ahead we faced together
We braced ourselves one after another
We still quarreled when we're weary,
Certain statements we often query

It was that special place
We used to gather
We used to have our fashion craze
Having fun altogether

Phantasmagoria and mysterious
A chimerical terrestrial reverie
Our special place, of deliriousness
That no one else can see

We were exhausted
Decided to take a break
Under the sun, we were toasted
We had sunburn and bodyaches

I opened my eyes widely in anxiety
Was it for real? Could it be?
This nightmare I've awoken from
Feels dark, cold and lonesome

I saw her face reflecting against the light
Darkness began to take over the Earth
Creepy and cold atmosphere for a night
The moon swelled up as we stood side by side

We entered the gates in discreet
Silence labored on everything that has breath
Walking down the quiet street
We fear, approaching death

~~~~~~~

The dark aura spreaded throughout the street
Suddenly, I heard the sound of drums
And the maracas following its beat
Music played, I silently hummed

What was this familiar tune?
Mysterious yet pleasant
Pictures flashed in my head, with the playing of that rune
I somehow remembered, it's somewhat significant

Then the tune changed
My heart jumped
as I realised I appeared in a clear room, furnitures nicely arranged
Out of the innocence, I heard a grump

When I turned to find out who it was
I was being stopped
From behind, a dice was tossed
Then something popped

Petrified, I did not move
I heard a voice saying
"Your sin you must remove
A visit to the Holy King you'll be paying"

What did the voice mean?
To whom am I visiting?
Who's the Holy King?
Where on EARTH am I going?

What is happening?
Who was grumping?
Where is this place?
Why do I not see her face?

Where had she gone?
Was she not with me?
I feel faint, I yawned
My body gave way, I let me be

Then I heard sounds of a bee
There was a huge landscape, sunlight, fresh air and grass
A man stood there smiling at me
Leaning on the bark of a huge oak tree

Then he spoke, "Get up and follow me."

~~~~~~~

While I was brought around this greenfield
He turned to me and smiled
My hands he touched and held
He asked, "What do you see, my child?"

I did not know what to reply
I guess I was still traumatized
of the quick-changing sceneries and atmosphere
But now, a steady, sweet scent I smell and a sweet sound I hear

A second look the man gave me
This time, more concerningly
"Are you all right?" He said
Suddenly breathless, I needed some sort of aid

Was this a dream?
Am I dead?
Of some sort it would seem
that I'd wake up, shocked, in my bed

A gentle laugh broke the tense atmosphere
Before I knew it, I'd already let out a tear
That voice that sounded so tender
I'd just found out it's God, Our Father!

The one who appeared before me
The one who can help me
The one who can find the cure
To heal my wounds, just like before

So many things he did for me
I could no longer hold it in
I hugged him tightly
as if he was my only kin

A sudden white light blinded my eyes
I felt many pulling me apart
Trying to struggle free
I moved, hit and fought hard

Everything stopped
I could finally see now
My jaws dropped
My heart beat fast somehow

To my horror
I saw things I did not want to see
There must be some kind of error
Why is this happening to me??

Their cold bodies above each other
Some still alive that wouldn't bother
About the others' life whether
They were still alive or not either

There I stood alone
It was dark and cold
But there stood my first clone
Smiling at me, somewhat diabolical.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .