Saturday, June 26, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 11:05 PM

And he said, "I'll love you forever."

Lungs pumping
Heart jumping
Head spinning
I could barely breathe.

Tears flowing down my cheeks
Strained, inebriated
Alcohol, from my mouth, reeks
Once, I loved .. then I hated ..

Thrashing everything to the floor
Burning every memory of you
Wishing to not remember your face anymore
To give me a chance to start afresh & anew

Then I came to this one thing
I thought I would never
ever
detroy,
But I still did.

Staring hard at our bright smiles
wondering just what'd gone wrong
We were inseparable,
our love was so strong

But that day had to happen
The day when you left me
The path you had already chosen
Leaving me behind, feeling so lonely.

Clutching on tightly to the frame
Till my fingertips turn yellow
To the wall I aim
To where I aimed, I throw

The glass cracks & breaks
As I collapsed to the floor
My heart aches
right to the very core

Didn't think I'd be in disarray
Didn't think I'd be that sore
Didn't think you'd be so far away
Didn't think you'd break your promise after you swore.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Thursday, June 24, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 10:17 PM

Sympathy

Inhaling deeply
Pinching my nose
Tears cloud my eyes
As I hear the echoes
Of their cries.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 1:01 AM

Truth & Answers

Here I stand still
On the placid hill
Still wondering why
No wings grew on me to fly

Words in the past ..

In confusion and frustration
I'm still longing for an answer
Until the day I sleep in my coffin
I'll find it for sure

Recalling the moments
Of times in your abscence
Alone, I sat in the corner
In my own world, a loner

Then I'd go to school
With my shadow
Looking like a fool
As I call out to it below

Shuffling of feet
Going up the stairs
As everyone's eyes - to mine - meet
Leave on me, I swear

Gossips and laughter
Abandoned, forlorn,
As one says,
Betraying a friend,
Is like getting your own heart torn

As days get by
Cold-blooded features form
For ten thousand times I sigh
Awaiting for the next storm

Scrutinizing information clammed together
All in my room, school and mind
To treasure my last moments with you forever
Before I turn blind

And so I sang
all the words in this letter
As a loud bang
Followed right after

Gunshot through my head
Letter landed on my bed
My first smile,
In decades,
Just in awhile
Everything fades

"To my dear friend,
I've given you all my working notes
All my money to spend,
All my warmest coats

Gave you all the solutions
To all your problems
Donated all my organs
In case you need them

To my dear friend,
Your importance to me, to all transcend
Live your life
Not with strife,
Live it to the fullest
Because you're still alive!

To my dear friend,
I've been waiting all my life
To lend you a helping hand
I hope I did enough .."

Those moments never forgotten
those answers hold no more value
For revenge no longer tasted sweet
For I tasted compromising defeat ..

But still I long for the truth
For the saying goes:
"The truth shall set you free"
Maybe it works, but who knows?

And so I wait
yet patiently on this hill
For the opening gate
Of answers, for my empty heart to fill.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 12:20 AM

Reverie

Dancing with the wind
My soul feels secure
No longer chagrined
For I've found a cure

Deep in the forest
it dances with the butterflies
For the creatures there most callous
languidly dies

Trees swaying,
Birds humming,
Rhythmic movement
Rapidly spinning

An incandescent spotlight
O' the wonderful sunlight
Through the thick canopy
Enhancing nature's beauty

Every soul dancing without respite
Dancing till the night
When the sun goes beyond the ends of the earth
A new moon has been given birth

Then my soul rests with the trees
Humming a lullaby to me
Lazily swaying lilies
As I drift off to my world of fantasy.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Monday, June 21, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 10:30 PM

A friend

Throwing my hands up in the air
Banging on the wall in fustration
Shouting like I just don't care
Thinking about what had & would happen

You were precious to me
Yet I let you slip out of my hands
Didn't see what's before me
One of my very best friends

Took advantage of your presence
I laugh to myself for being silly
I loved your responses
I miss how we used to be

Blaming myself for many things
I cry myself to sleep
I've neglected my close friends
And now I have to make amends

~

It's the time
When I said, "how are you?"
I realised how much we've distanced
And amazed that I had no clue.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Friday, June 18, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 1:20 AM

At the touch of love

At the touch of love,
Everyone becomes a poet
When I look up above
I think of my favourite

How I longed for His embrace
Yet seldom get to even see his face
How I longed to say something to him
yet I'm afraid something might happen

My heart cries everday
Longing for it to go its way
But my mind holds halt to my emotions
And eventually, my intentions

Beginning to turn into stone
As I began to feel all alone
Even if I were to be killed the next moment
Or be swept away by the strong current

I wouldn't confess
I wouldn't say it out
I wouldn't know how to express
it out in words, afraid of the future fallout

Feeling much like a coward
That wouldn't care about my dignity
As much as it sounds absurd
I'd do anything for him

If he likes someone else
I would give them my blessings
All I wish is for him to be happy
Nothing else matters to me.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Saturday, June 12, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 10:16 PM

Escape to reality

Lost in my own world
In my own dimension
Floating on air, I swirled
drowsily in slow motion

If only this moment would last forever
I would escape from all the terror
It took me nothing but seconds
to wake up, realising it's all over

If only it was reality
If only this was a dream
Can I then live zestfully
& my soul will I redeem

Here in this deadly world
Nothing but dust,
Alone this the room, in the corner, I curled
The place where I find, the safest

No love, care or concern
Abandoned, awaiting for a saviour
Everyone lives; waiting for time to burn
Hoping to find a cure for our heartsore.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Friday, June 11, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 11:16 PM

King of Peace

Verse 1

King of Peace, My savior
We bring glory to you
Calm our souls, to be still
And feel your presence in this room

Chorus

You reign forever, you’re the Living God
Forever still the same
You are divine and
There is none like you
You will always give
Me rest and peace, Oh
The King of Peace, O Lord

Verse 2

Draw me close to you, Lord
There is no sin you cannot erase
For I know, You are God
Who has a heart that is full of grace

Bridge

Merciful
(You are) wonderful
(You are) Glori-ous
And powerful (x2)

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Penned down emotions @ 9:53 PM

Ending Misery

It was that very day
When I cried
Because you couldn't stay
Here, by my side

How I longed for your presence
How I longed for your comforting smile
How I wish I could see you just this once
At least once more, for a little while

Let me say my last speech
Our last conversation together
Let's go to the beach
& lock our memories there forever

Throw it out to the sea
Will I then be finished with you
Let my heart be empty
To let it start anew.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 5:24 PM

Don't let go, Never let go

We laughed and talked
about everything under the sun
In this very park we walked
Near this towering mountain

I wished you'd be by my side forever
But I knew I shouldn't build false hopes
Here I am, waiting even longer
Knowing I'm just a blockhead - a dreamer

It's never gonna happen
Trying to convince myself over and over
It's like attempting to climb to heaven
But not getting any closer

I do not wish to fail anymore
For I know there is a cure
Then I wish upon a star
Hopefully to avoid this war.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Penned down emotions @ 5:17 PM

Fly

My heart aches everyday
Just seeing him go through the pain
It's too excruciating in every way
I'm afraid my intentions may end up in vain

But I'll try,
Getting up on my feet
I'll stop being shy
And make it complete

Drawing and colouring it full now
Yet distorted and a little pale
What else can I do with this little heart
But to make full use of it although it's weak and frail

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Sunday, June 6, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 8:48 PM

Someone New

That day you looked into my eyes
I froze and became hard as ice
You smiled and waved up high
I couldn't help but blush as you walk pass by

My eyes twinkle
each time I look at you
Whenever our eyes met
I'll quickly look away, you'd do the same too

There's this secret between us
No one could ever tell
This little secret crush
hidden deep within my little shell

This feeling I often enjoy
Maybe he does not, I'm not sure
But I know it's not a toy
You can have fun and play with, I assure

It's different and I know it
I just hope things would stay this way
Though there's probably this one thing I won't admit
This one thing I will never say

I don't need him to be my boyfriend
I just like this secret feeling
Of being close, yet far away
A mere sparkling sensation

I really do like him a lot
But I fear this liking may not be love
For too long and hard I've fought
I know, of this I'm sure of

I'm not gonna tell him
I'm just gonna watch from a distance
Admiring and smiling
Just enjoying his presence.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Penned down emotions @ 12:15 AM

It's really, really time to put the spear down; My Hope

What's left within me
A quiet soul
I could no longer return to what I used to be
I could never replace what you stole

Before me, I dug a hole
Deep into the ground
Pictures & memories of & with him I used to extol
I threw them in and bury it where it can no longer be found

It's over, my mind ruled
Over something so ridiculous
Yet deceived so easily; again, fooled
Whatever I did was just useless

He ate too big a portion of my heart
Stole it and from me, he kept apart.

What evil you've done to me -
yet you are clueless to it all
You leave me helplessly
At the edge of the cliff to fall

In denial of the acts you've done
I know I could never blame you
Now this war had begun
yet you still have no clue

Right, you're innocent,
yet I blame you for everything
You're too perfect and brilliant
to fall for this trap I've been planning

A hopeless battle
I've been fighting
Why should I go through the hassle
All that I've been hoping

for all I just wanted
and needed
Was just your smile, your attention,
And a decent conversation ..

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Penned down emotions @ 11:25 PM

Love After Love

By sunrise
Someone'd walk to the door
Knock gently,
Sit down on the comfy chair
Take sips of home-brewed coffee or tea

We'd talk,
We'd laugh,
We'd scream and shout
We'd have the time of our lives
Before He leaves through the door and out

Then comes another
which day by day,
hour by hour,
minute by minute,
second by second
doing whatever he'd say

Go out for a drink;
to drink till we're drunk
We'll talk, laugh, scream & shout
Until we're both satisfied

By noon, by night,
She does whatever seems right
Nobody cared what route she took
The Lady whose last name was hook.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .

Penned down emotions @ 1:38 PM

It's up to me now.

Just before midnight
You held my hand so tight
You told me to be brave for tomorrow
But I guess I couldn't bear to let you go

As quick as the sun touched the sky
You packed up and waved goodbye
I thought I'd be prepared by then
I thought I'd be brave but I fell again

Hands and legs quivering
Entire nerve system already shut down
Here I stayed still, standing
Feeling like the ultimate clown

Looking at my two feet
Couldn't help but weep
This isn't fair, I cried
It was never fair when you weren't by my side.

CHECKMATE! Yumeitto .